tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38408080327607401452024-03-14T04:17:01.421-04:00Foster (and more!) Mom-ing"I refuse...to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself. Oh, I could choose not to move, but I refuse" -- Josh WilsonGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.comBlogger238125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-61177175152094020172016-08-01T12:30:00.001-04:002016-08-01T12:30:45.464-04:00Need New Neuron Pathway (#microblogmonday)There's a McDonald's near me with a sign advertising the Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit.
They've abbreviated it, so the sign say: "BEC Biscuit"
I blame Ask A Manager, but every time I see the sign, I think: "Bitch Eating Crackers Biscuit?"
#microblogmondayGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-14807947227927303132016-06-09T22:22:00.000-04:002016-06-09T22:22:07.226-04:00TMI?This evening turning into an ... unusual (? I guess that's the best word?) one. But this is a story I can't really tell in real life.
Susan is 14. She's on the autism spectrum, very much on the high functioning end. She got her first period last summer. It resulted in a cancelled trip to the pool with her aunt and uncle and she's been wearing pads when necessary ever since. I've repeated Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-12074202840531872682016-06-06T20:04:00.001-04:002016-06-06T20:14:51.300-04:00Dubious Milestone (#microblogmonday)C (aka Jill) has her first ear infection at nearly 10 months old. She's coping pretty well so far with the antibiotic (unlike her sister who had explosive diarrhea and nasty diaper rashes with her first couple rounds of antibotics) and it certainly seems to be improving her mood!
Trying an idea I stole from Empty Arms, Broken Heart. #microblogmonday
Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-18383970825197368342016-06-01T15:08:00.001-04:002016-06-01T15:08:42.088-04:00Not Boding WellRemember when I said Susan's IEP transition to high school meeting went well? (Bullet 5) Well...
At that meeting, we all agreed to make a specific change in one class that she's taking next year. (So, think of it as taking World History in 9th grade instead of US History.) There were good, long-term thinking reasons for the change and everyone in the meeting agreed to it, even though it puts herGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-61013852790681734392016-05-23T07:27:00.000-04:002016-05-23T07:27:10.843-04:00CountingLucy is learning the concept of numbers. For a long time, every time she saw a group of things, she would announce there were "two" of them. So, the collection of 5 horses in a field was "2 horses," the row of 3 birds on a telephone line was "2 birds," the long line of traffic coming the other way on the road was "2 cars."
We tried substituting "lots" for her -- "Oh, that's a lot of cars, isn't Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-60657904625963888132016-05-18T13:29:00.000-04:002016-05-18T13:29:10.628-04:00Miscellaneous updates
I still check up on the girls' birth mother periodically. Kayla went to jail in late November and stayed there until very recently. She gained a significant amount of weight while incarcerated (and complained about that on Facebook), but was so very thin before hand that I suspect she's actually closer to a healthy weight now than she was. She also commented about the weight being a result of Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-80795687437388217112016-05-09T11:11:00.001-04:002016-05-09T11:11:56.979-04:00Doctor's VisitI love my pediatrician's office. Today, I was reminded why.
C, who I think I shall begin calling "Jill", had a well-child visit. We were 15 minutes early because it was the first visit since the adoption was final, so there was new insurance and a name change and I wanted to give the office staff plenty of time to get all taken care of before our appointment time.
They were running late. Way, Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-26242776250265360892016-03-15T09:22:00.000-04:002016-03-15T09:22:13.916-04:00Late post -- we are final!Oops.
I just realized I never did post an update after we finalized C's adoption.
It did happen in late February, we have pictures with the judge, her name was legally changed and we are just waiting for the state to send us an updated birth certificate so we can finalize all the paperwork. (I'm hoping the attorney will manage to "accidentally" get us a copy of the original birth certificate Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-84438269315706197242016-02-10T16:48:00.000-05:002016-02-10T16:48:04.609-05:00Later this month? We think?The lawyer finally got the packet of information from DFCS, so she can begin the process of getting a court date.
It's missing one key piece of paperwork that she had sent over specifically for us to sign, have notarized and be included. We signed it. I specifically remember a group discussion about whether it was like a mortgage document where you're supposed to sign in blue ink so the courts Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-43848682638031061202016-01-27T13:00:00.000-05:002016-01-27T13:00:33.172-05:00Almost....thereThe local sports news is full of signing dates right now as various players "commit" to play football in college. We have a different -- much more life-changing -- kind of signing date coming up!
The county caseworker finally has all her stuff together and we will be signing the Intent to Adopt paperwork later this week. Once we've done that, the lawyer gets involved and as soon as she Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-5567283813565066332016-01-12T15:43:00.002-05:002016-01-13T12:27:31.576-05:00Random Updates for the New Year
We still don't have a finalization date for C's adoption. The new caseworker has a new reason every month for why she isn't ready to schedule a meeting for us to finalize the paperwork. (October: She has everything she needs, just needs to write this narrative. November: She's missing something, so agency caseworker forwards her the email (sent in early October) providing her (again) the items Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-50811629477215385332015-12-09T08:03:00.003-05:002015-12-09T08:03:56.159-05:00PauseSo, I was tempted to title this "Screeching Halt" but that would imply something has actually gone wrong with the process of adopting C. And it hasn't. We've just hit one of those annoying little periods where we are SO CLOSE to being done and waiting on JUST ONE THING and it's . . . just . . . not . . . getting . . . done.
I got a call the week before Thanksgiving from the caseworker. I got Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-34703948947449797822015-11-19T08:48:00.000-05:002015-11-19T08:48:00.042-05:00DNA ResultsWe have confirmation of paternity! The DNA results (finally!) came in and they show that C's father is the person who surrendered his rights and is also Lucy's father.
So, they are full biological sisters.
More importantly, we don't have to search out a different biological father and figure out if he (or his relatives) are going to take custody of C.
Now, we just move through the final hoop Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-10361723549823622922015-11-10T15:49:00.000-05:002015-11-10T15:49:09.910-05:00Permanency In SightWe met with the new caseworker this morning. She is experienced in child welfare, but is really a supervisor. This means, among other things, she knows what needs to be done and how to do it. I suspect it also means that she's got way too much on her plate, trying to do her actual job and cover the day-to-day of cases at the same time. However, her reaction to that last fact appears to be a Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-59148733306246236822015-11-05T14:31:00.000-05:002015-11-05T14:31:00.103-05:00Of CourseIf there is one thing that's remained constant in the entire season of our lives spent working with the foster care system it's this: caseworker turnover happens frequently and without advance notice.
So, my latest attempt to find out if the (now-more-than-2-weeks-past-the-longest-time-range-we-were-told-it-would-take) DNA results were back yet was answered with the news that our caseworker has Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-6510205673571342652015-11-03T12:42:00.000-05:002015-11-03T12:42:00.776-05:00Feeling JudgedI had a moment in the grocery store a few weeks ago and it made me wonder....how often is the judgement we think we are feeling from others actually completely inside our own heads?
I do not for a minute doubt that people have had moments of truly being judged by strangers around them. I've heard the stories of whispers and comments that drip with entitlement and lack of understanding. But, how Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-21480022221472119022015-10-28T12:21:00.000-04:002015-10-28T12:21:01.385-04:00Still WaitingI have nothing new to report, really.
We are still waiting for the DNA test results.
We are still waiting for the agency to complete our home study conversion.
We are still waiting for the Child Life History to be written.
All those things have to happen before we can move to the next step in adopting C, which is the signing of the Intent to Adopt paperwork. We signed Lucy's in mid-November Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-56785705423059693342015-10-21T15:30:00.002-04:002015-10-21T15:30:55.129-04:00Rules, rules, rulesMy state has established a new policy regarding the supervision of children in the foster care system.
There's a sentence to strike fear in the hearts of foster parents everywhere.
Actually, I think this one is a good change. It's called the "Prudent Parent Policy" and appears to be somewhat aptly named. It's not going to make major differences in my life because C is really going to be the Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-57778214037285687562015-10-11T14:55:00.000-04:002015-10-11T14:55:08.034-04:00Caseworker MeetingWe met with the adoption worker last week. It's the same one that was assigned to Lucy's case, which is excellent news. She is efficient and organized and on top of things.
DNA samples have been sent to the lab and we are still waiting on results. Based on this particular family's history, the caseworker thinks it is unlikely that the DNA result will come back with any surprises, so we are Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-12102773142374661822015-09-29T15:15:00.001-04:002015-10-02T09:11:20.720-04:00How Yesterday WentMid-morning:
Got a text telling me he was signing surrenders.
I replied asking about the DNA sample
Responding text said they were doing that "right now."
Mid-Day:
Anna brought C back to the house.
She said "you were right; she does hate the car."
Learned that they had taken C's DNA sample.
Anna did not actually see biofather's sample given and she said she "hoped he didn't leave."
There is a Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-71721706039247388922015-09-28T06:47:00.001-04:002015-09-28T06:47:19.239-04:00Court TodayWe learned late Friday afternoon that C's case would go to court this morning. She's required to attend. (I asked for notice so I could arrange childcare for Lucy. I guess I got the weekend.)
Biodad is supposed to be there and (we're told) will sign surrenders. No idea if he's given his DNA sample yet. (Apparently last year's sample given for Lucy's case is "no longer good." I guess they don't Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-53378132374912083622015-09-25T14:53:00.000-04:002015-09-25T14:53:09.383-04:00Where Things StandA bullet point update, because I am Always Too Tired right now.
The SwaddleMe swaddling blankets (pictured to the left, although ours are shades of pink) have been a life saver. C needs to be wrapped up tightly a lot of the time, especially to stay asleep. Her withdrawal symptoms include a lot of jerky flinching, which wakes her up. Mr D and I have realized that we are both very, very bad at Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-56337524633221930272015-09-14T14:00:00.000-04:002015-09-15T15:30:56.805-04:00Early DaysC arrived during Lucy's naptime on Friday and then it was the weekend. Today is the first time I've really had to be alone with both littles awake. That's fun. (Well, no. No, it isn't. Hopefully, it will be fun. Later.)
C seems so tiny -- although she's a healthy weight. We're still working on figuring out the best bottle/nipple combination for her. She has a very strong suck, so she gets Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-46082611841526132582015-09-12T07:44:00.000-04:002015-09-12T07:44:10.383-04:00She's here!Kayla went to the court date and signed the surrenders.
Biodad didn't show up. The caseworker still hasn't actually seen him. And she was at the hospital when C was born. He wasn't there then and the NICU reports that he has never visited. Kayla keeps telling the caseworker he's at work. When the caseworker told me that, she made little air quotes with her fingers.
So, the case goal is Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840808032760740145.post-81172285984668682072015-09-11T08:20:00.000-04:002015-09-11T08:23:17.209-04:00RollingWhen things finally move in foster care, they can move very, very fast.
I got a text Wednesday night saying that DFCS was filling out the paperwork to take custody on Thursday and would set things up so we could go visit Baby C.
Mr D and I plotted and planned to go Saturday afternoon when Peter could watch Lucy since NICUs don't allow children into the unit.
Then I got a call on Thursday from Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10780908199604484569noreply@blogger.com3