Saturday, February 11, 2012

BioParents Cannot be Trusted

I am a documenting queen. I send an email to the caseworker every time the kids have phone contact with anybody. The email includes who we called, how long they talked and what was said. I try to write as objectively as possible, but will sometimes conclude with specific things that I'm concerned by in the interaction. (Like when O started beginning every conversation with "what are you bringing me?")

My caseworker loves me for this, becuase she regularly tells me of things that the bioparents are saying to her which are, flatly, lies. The emails help the caseworker always know my side of the story before the bioparent even says a word.

Some examples:
  • I haven't talked to my kids in weeks! Actually, in the last 2 weeks you talked to your kids on these 8 separate dates.
  • E is failing a subject in school. Ummm, actually, she has the highest grade given in all subjects.
  • Foster mom calls O "evil." HA!
  • Biodad: The reason he and his current wife do not have the same domestic violence issues that he and biomom did is that "she don't make me mad." I just can't even begin.....
  • Biomom: I've worked in therapy on my relationship with my mother and it has improved to the point where I feel that my mother would be the best placement for them. Not according to your therapist you haven't. 
  • Biodad: his home study process went very well and he is confident it will be approved. No. Absolutely not.
  • Biomom: I took L to the dentist and her teeth were perfect just before she spent those 2 weeks with my mother. Umm. According to the dentist, her teeth had serious decay issues that could not have arisen in 2 weeks.
What kills me is that these lies are so easily uncovered and revealed. These people are just so . . . so . . . . I don't know what it is? Not very bright? Delusional? Insane?

This is why I will never bring the kids to court if I don't have to and am grateful to live in a state that does not require them to attend. I don't want them hearing this kind of stuff and feeling stuck listening to Mommy/Daddy who they love, while they bad-mouth everyone else that these kids care about. No wonder O is having such a hard time learning to tell the truth!

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