- We still don't have a finalization date for C's adoption. The new caseworker has a new reason every month for why she isn't ready to schedule a meeting for us to finalize the paperwork. (October: She has everything she needs, just needs to write this narrative. November: She's missing something, so agency caseworker forwards her the email (sent in early October) providing her (again) the items she's missing . December: She just needs to write this narrative. January: someone will be calling us soon with some questions (thought we did that months ago, too?) Wonder what the February excuse will be. At this rate, she'll probably be "missing something" again....)
- Since DFCS has let this slip into the new year, I'm going to spend another clothing allowance. I was feeling a little guilty about that, knowing how thin the resources are in foster care; the case manager's lack of organization has gone a long way towards helping me get over that! I'll buy the girls both Easter dresses and some other "fill-in" items in C's next size up as well as in Lucy's. Lucy's next size up will be 2T and once we hit 3T, I have quite the stash of hand-me-downs. The clothing allowance may be for C, but she'll wear the things I buy for Lucy eventually and I still have all of Lucy's hand-me-downs from the last year or so so there's no point in trying to buy for those sizes.
- Speaking of benefits I don't think we should still be getting, C's next WIC follow-up visit is next Wednesday, so we'll probably have another 3 months of her formula covered. At 5 months old, she's only just started eating some cereal, so there's still a lot of formula to buy in the next few months.
- It's already time to think about preschool for Lucy for next fall. I love my church (and the preschool there), but we live 30 minutes away. Having an hour of travel time during a 3 hour class window drastically lessens the list of things I can get accomplished while the child is in school. So, we are researching closer options. And having to think about things like: 2 or 3 days a week? 3 or 4 hour days?
- Lucy's favorite word right now is "No." Fun with the terrible twos and she's not even quite two years old yet!. (It would probably help if I could always resist the urge to laugh or smile when she's so matter-of-fact about it. I say it's "time to go!" and she replies, oh so sweetly and reasonably, with a smile: "No." )
- I googled their biological mother for the first time in a while. She was arrested just before Thanksgiving and tested positive for several drugs. So, the "surrendering rights to C so she can focus on getting and staying clean" plan hasn't really stuck. It makes me sad, because I keep hoping that she'll be ready and able to make that change in her life that will allow us to include her in the lives of her daughters as they grow up. Right now, the drug use makes her too unstable for any kind of contact to be an option.
- Nothing turns up on google for their biological father. I don't know whether he's clean or just not getting caught. He's not interested in contact, so there's none there either.
Showing posts with label WIC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WIC. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Random Updates for the New Year
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Feeling Judged
I had a moment in the grocery store a few weeks ago and it made me wonder....how often is the judgement we think we are feeling from others actually completely inside our own heads?
I do not for a minute doubt that people have had moments of truly being judged by strangers around them. I've heard the stories of whispers and comments that drip with entitlement and lack of understanding. But, how often do we let ourselves feel judged based on nothing more than a facial expression we could have misread or a silence that might have meant nothing?
Here's my story:
I had Lucy in the child seat and C in her car seat carrier down in the basket of the grocery cart. C was screaming and Lucy was escaping the straps. But we were nearly out of formula and milk, so I had to do the minimum grocery run. As I approached a checkout lane, a gentlemen with a full cart waved me ahead with a smile.
The cashier made pleasant small talk as she rang up everything but the formula and asked me if Lucy and C were my only children. I laughed and said I had 3 more in school.
Then I pulled out my WIC checks to pay for the formula. As I did so, I thought I caught sight of the gentleman behind me in line -- the one who'd let me cut in front of him. I thought I saw him freeze, just for a second. I thought I felt him think, "5 kids? and on public assistance? Get your tubes tied and get a job, lady." I resisted a powerful urge to comment on the fact that we'd adopted Lucy from the foster system, that we intended to adopt C but she was in foster care and that was why she got WIC and that was also why I was feeding her formula anyway. None of that is the business of any random stranger in the grocery store and saying it would have served nothing but my pride.
But, here's the thing. The man in line said nothing. The cashier said only that I must be a busy woman. He did nothing but put his groceries on the checkout behind mine. She simply rang up my items in a professional and efficient manner. I thought it. That was my voice in my head judging me, not theirs. It wasn't until I was in the car -- feeling judged -- that I realized I hadn't even made eye contact with either of them after I pulled out the WIC checks. I gave them no opportunity to show me a lack of judgement. I was so focused on myself, so turned inwards, that I didn't even really see them.
So, in that story, doesn't it sound like I'm the one who is jumping to judgement? I'm the one who is denying others the grace of assuming their best intentions.
Remove the log from thine own eye, indeed.
I do not for a minute doubt that people have had moments of truly being judged by strangers around them. I've heard the stories of whispers and comments that drip with entitlement and lack of understanding. But, how often do we let ourselves feel judged based on nothing more than a facial expression we could have misread or a silence that might have meant nothing?
Here's my story:
I had Lucy in the child seat and C in her car seat carrier down in the basket of the grocery cart. C was screaming and Lucy was escaping the straps. But we were nearly out of formula and milk, so I had to do the minimum grocery run. As I approached a checkout lane, a gentlemen with a full cart waved me ahead with a smile.
The cashier made pleasant small talk as she rang up everything but the formula and asked me if Lucy and C were my only children. I laughed and said I had 3 more in school.
Then I pulled out my WIC checks to pay for the formula. As I did so, I thought I caught sight of the gentleman behind me in line -- the one who'd let me cut in front of him. I thought I saw him freeze, just for a second. I thought I felt him think, "5 kids? and on public assistance? Get your tubes tied and get a job, lady." I resisted a powerful urge to comment on the fact that we'd adopted Lucy from the foster system, that we intended to adopt C but she was in foster care and that was why she got WIC and that was also why I was feeding her formula anyway. None of that is the business of any random stranger in the grocery store and saying it would have served nothing but my pride.
But, here's the thing. The man in line said nothing. The cashier said only that I must be a busy woman. He did nothing but put his groceries on the checkout behind mine. She simply rang up my items in a professional and efficient manner. I thought it. That was my voice in my head judging me, not theirs. It wasn't until I was in the car -- feeling judged -- that I realized I hadn't even made eye contact with either of them after I pulled out the WIC checks. I gave them no opportunity to show me a lack of judgement. I was so focused on myself, so turned inwards, that I didn't even really see them.
So, in that story, doesn't it sound like I'm the one who is jumping to judgement? I'm the one who is denying others the grace of assuming their best intentions.
Remove the log from thine own eye, indeed.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
My First Experience with WIC
Foster children under age 5 (I think?) qualify for WIC.
I've never signed any of my placements up for it. There are lots of reasons for that, but mostly it's a combination of two things. First, I've had 3 and 4 year olds; they're eating the same food we are in not-very-large-portions, so it isn't that much of an increase of our food budget to feed them. Second, I've heard so many horror stories about WIC. I've heard all about how hard it was to get the child enrolled in the program, how difficult it was to get into the WIC office to get the vouchers every month, how much of a hassle it was to use them in the store. I've read stories about store cashiers and other customers treating the WIC user with disdain and impatience.
So, I just haven't bothered. It sounded like a lot of trouble for very little gain. But I always told myself that if we ever had a placement that was still on formula...I'd have to figure out WIC. Because that stuff is expensive.
When N arrived with his caseworker, she brought me a bag full of baby food and an open container of formula. She also handed me a small folder, saying "here are his WIC checks." My agency caseworker told me to call the number of the office on the folder to find out how to get them transferred from the former foster family to mine, so that I could actually use them. (You sign the folder; when you use the vouchers, you sign them at the register and the cashier is supposed to compare your signature to the one on the folder.)
There were 4 vouchers for the month of October and 4 for the month of November. There was also one voucher -- for several cans of formula -- which was due to expire in 3 days, so I called the WIC office the next day.
And it was....easy. And pleasant.
That was a nice surprise.
They scheduled an appointment for me to come in first thing the following morning. They told me what to bring with me to the appointment -- the current WIC folder, my foster parent placement paperwork, my ID, and a current utility bill or rent statement -- and said I would be getting the current coupons transferred over so I could use them and also changing his account to the office closest to me.
When I went the appointment, there was no line at the check-in counter. The person behind the counter was friendly and efficient. She took all my paperwork, made copies, and gave it back to me. She told me to have a seat and she would call me "soon." N and I sat in the waiting room for about 5 minutes and then she called me back over. She handed me a new WIC folder with the same coupons in it and pointed out where I should sign the folder. She asked if I wanted to keep the same appointment time for the next visit....which will be in November. She asked me if I had any questions and then answered them. When I was ready to leave, she told me to call them if I had any more questions between now and the appointment in November.
The whole thing took about 15 minutes.
I used the one check that was about to expire yesterday. There weren't any other customers in line with me, but the cashier and the store manager (who was bagging my groceries) were both very helpful and patient. The store manager talked with me for a few minutes about how to find which items in the store can be bought with WIC. He said it can be confusing because "it changes a lot" and that I shouldn't hesitate to ask at the front counter for help if I needed it.
I realize that using WIC as a foster parent is very different experience than using it as a parent in need. I also realize that the appointment process at the WIC office is much easier for me than it would be for a working parent. I wonder about the one step that I didn't have to take -- getting him enrolled in the first place. But, in general, the whole process was much smoother and more pleasant than I expected.
I've never signed any of my placements up for it. There are lots of reasons for that, but mostly it's a combination of two things. First, I've had 3 and 4 year olds; they're eating the same food we are in not-very-large-portions, so it isn't that much of an increase of our food budget to feed them. Second, I've heard so many horror stories about WIC. I've heard all about how hard it was to get the child enrolled in the program, how difficult it was to get into the WIC office to get the vouchers every month, how much of a hassle it was to use them in the store. I've read stories about store cashiers and other customers treating the WIC user with disdain and impatience.
So, I just haven't bothered. It sounded like a lot of trouble for very little gain. But I always told myself that if we ever had a placement that was still on formula...I'd have to figure out WIC. Because that stuff is expensive.
When N arrived with his caseworker, she brought me a bag full of baby food and an open container of formula. She also handed me a small folder, saying "here are his WIC checks." My agency caseworker told me to call the number of the office on the folder to find out how to get them transferred from the former foster family to mine, so that I could actually use them. (You sign the folder; when you use the vouchers, you sign them at the register and the cashier is supposed to compare your signature to the one on the folder.)
There were 4 vouchers for the month of October and 4 for the month of November. There was also one voucher -- for several cans of formula -- which was due to expire in 3 days, so I called the WIC office the next day.
And it was....easy. And pleasant.
That was a nice surprise.
They scheduled an appointment for me to come in first thing the following morning. They told me what to bring with me to the appointment -- the current WIC folder, my foster parent placement paperwork, my ID, and a current utility bill or rent statement -- and said I would be getting the current coupons transferred over so I could use them and also changing his account to the office closest to me.
When I went the appointment, there was no line at the check-in counter. The person behind the counter was friendly and efficient. She took all my paperwork, made copies, and gave it back to me. She told me to have a seat and she would call me "soon." N and I sat in the waiting room for about 5 minutes and then she called me back over. She handed me a new WIC folder with the same coupons in it and pointed out where I should sign the folder. She asked if I wanted to keep the same appointment time for the next visit....which will be in November. She asked me if I had any questions and then answered them. When I was ready to leave, she told me to call them if I had any more questions between now and the appointment in November.
The whole thing took about 15 minutes.
I used the one check that was about to expire yesterday. There weren't any other customers in line with me, but the cashier and the store manager (who was bagging my groceries) were both very helpful and patient. The store manager talked with me for a few minutes about how to find which items in the store can be bought with WIC. He said it can be confusing because "it changes a lot" and that I shouldn't hesitate to ask at the front counter for help if I needed it.
I realize that using WIC as a foster parent is very different experience than using it as a parent in need. I also realize that the appointment process at the WIC office is much easier for me than it would be for a working parent. I wonder about the one step that I didn't have to take -- getting him enrolled in the first place. But, in general, the whole process was much smoother and more pleasant than I expected.
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