Monday, November 4, 2013

Moments that Break Your Heart -- Take Three

Last time I did this, some readers added some of their own in the comments. 
 ______________________________________________________________

She's 3. Her mother is working hard on her case plan and they will certainly be reunified...eventually. One night, she talks about how much she loves this toy that she has at your house. You casually mention that she can take it with her when she goes back to Mommy's house. She replies, "I don't want to go to Mommy's house. I want to stay here."
______________________________________________________________

He's 10 months old. He's been in your home a week. Already, when you try to leave him with someone else, he cries and reaches back for you. When you return, he lights up and reaches his arms out for you to pick him up again. Other adults coo, "Oh, he's so attached to you!"....
________________________________________________________________

She's 3. When it's her turn to say grace at the evening meal, she rambles on, mostly dropping in phrases that she remembers hearing others use when they pray. She thanks God for the food and for her "family and friends". She prays for face-less others, asking that God will "help them not be scared" or "help them not feel 'lone." And she always asks that God will help those same others "go to their Mommy's house."
______________________________________________________________

She's the biological mother of a child in your care. She has been working her plan with energy and enthusiasm, even volunteering for additional drug testing to prove herself and signing up for parenting classes above the minimum required for her case plan. During a routine phone call -- so that the child and Mom can talk more frequently than just at their semi-monthly visits -- she asks to speak to you. She asks if you've heard from her case worker. She wants to give him an update on how a certain part of her case plan is going, but he won't return her calls.
______________________________________________________________

She's 3. She's been saying ugly, mean things to other children. When you impose the consequence for such behavior, she begins to sob. "Mommy doesn't love me anymore."
______________________________________________________________

Child is in your care for a year. In that time, she has 4 caseworkers. When the fourth one comes onto the case -- 9 months in -- everything in the case plan for reunification is complete except for housing. The fourth caseworker is the one who realizes that the mother's current housing was never actually checked out to see if it would be acceptable. And it is.
______________________________________________________________

She's 3. She's been asking for a few weeks when she can "have a sleepover" at Mommy's house. You've told her you're waiting for the judge to say it's OK. When it's finally approved, you tell her she'll get to spend the night at the next visit. A few hours later, she says she wants you to come with her to Mommy's to spend the night, too.

1 comment: