Random Thoughts

• It's a good thing S had school today because we were getting on each other's nerves this morning. I did not have my usual patience for answering the same questions that I answer on a daily basis; she was not happy with my insistence that she knew the answer to that and I wasn't answering it again. I was not feeling the compromises today; she was not willing to hand over any power whatsoever. The initial pickup at school didn't bode much better for her side of it as she nearly melted down when I would not let her run through the parking lot with her new "kite" made in school that day, but the hours "off" had given me a deeper level of serenity and patience. I was able to redirect her onto a grassy field to show me the kite and successfully headed off the meltdown by meeting her need to show off her new creation while still meeting my own need to keep her safe.
• We might have court in a few weeks. But I don't know that for sure. If I think too hard about this, I will get irritable again. I will just say that S's mom told me when court is and asked if we would be there. I told her, honestly, that I'd like to be, but that I haven't heard anything about it yet. My query to the caseworker has, shockingly, gone unanswered. (BioMom says her letter tells her they will be discussing the possibility of moving to unsupervised visits with her. I would like to be there to add my resounding and enthusiastic support to that idea and hopefully get an official answer on what the rules will be -- specifically, what's the upper limit to frequency and duration?)
• Finally, finally, finally starting counseling for S, although it is clear to me that this counselor has only worked with kids in "schools" that are full-time day-care or, you know, K-12 schools. She's seeing S at "school" for an hour a week. Out of the 9 hours that S spends there. For the month that remains of S's school year. OK. What really made me laugh was when she earnestly told me she would plan to see her at 10am, so that she could be done "before lunch and nap-time." Yeah, those are at my house. :)
• It's almost May which means all the random "events" are starting up for the Originals as well as for S. Spring Sing concert, Field Day, Writer's Tea, Barter Day, Teacher Appreciation week, Band Concert in the Park, 5th Grade "Walk" (a "not-graduation" ceremony), Volunteer Appreciation breakfasts, sports banquets and End of Year parties. My May calendar makes my eyes hurt. Part of me wants to suggest that next year, we hold all our volunteer appreciation events at some random time during the year....like March....so that they don't fall when our volunteers are busy, you know, volunteering?

It's all Glacial

Glacial is my word for the day.

As in, the pace of this case glacial.

Nothing much new right now, except that I learned something about the case history which makes me even more frustrated with this glacial pace.

I knew that S's mother's initial arrest was drug related. I was under the impression that the drug in question was a highly addictive, extremely dangerous one. The drug I thought was involved is one that I have been told is very difficult to stop using; many drug counselors are adamant that the usual "6-months clean" on a case plan is not even close to being enough to ensure that the parent has truly kicked the addiction. That understanding was giving me some modicum of comfort with the glacial pace of the rest of this case, as it meant that S's mom was getting more than 6 months to really stay clean.

On a piece of paperwork today, I saw reference to her drug arrest. It stated that the drug in question is not the one I though. Instead, it is a much milder drug -- one that is legal in some parts of the country, although not here.

I am not going to debate drug legalization in this space. I don't know enough of the facts about addiction and the different types of drugs in question to speak knowledgeably about that.  The fact is that, in this state, that drug is illegal. I don't believe that it's OK to break laws just because you don't believe they are "right", so I'm not going to argue that S's mother "didn't do anything wrong."

But I sure do feel like she did a heck of lot less than I first thought. And the idea that S has been here -- and limited to 4 hours a month with her mother -- for EIGHT MONTHS over this makes me sick to my stomach.

Still hearing that the caseworker is "working on unsupervised visits" which could be longer and more frequent because they don't cost the county any money. Still offering to personally transport to and from said visits if that will help them happen.

Finally getting counseling started.

Glacial. Things that affect the lives of 3 year olds should not be glacial.