Thursday, July 3, 2014

Adoption Stories and Know-It-Alls

An extended family member is a lawyer. He is not an adoption lawyer or a foster care lawyer or a child advocate in any way. He is, however, the sort of personality who sees himself as an expert in "his field" (broadly defined) and as never wrong. (Everybody knows someone like that, right?)

He is a close enough family member that he knows more details than most about M's case and about the possibility of our adopting her should the downward spiral that currently is her parents' path continue. We were updating him recently and tried to emphasize that, even if TPR happens, the adoption could take a while before everything is really, truly final.

I finally had to just stop talking because he Would Not Believe that. And if I didn't stop talking, I was going to start yelling and I try not to yell at extended family members. Especially in semi-public places.

I read a lot of foster care blogs.A few of them are in the midst of trying to finalize an adoption of a child placed in their home. The adoptions are dragging. Another only recently finally got that closure.

I desperately wanted to point him to some of you as he held forth on how simple and easy an adoption proceeding would be. (I didn't because he does not know about my blog and I don't want to change that.) I mentioned appeals and he insisted that would not happen because "court assigned lawyers don't do appeals." I didn't mention case workers causing delays and problems because by then I had given up trying to get him to listen to me.

This man pretty much makes his money suing businesses and individuals for wrongful death and injury claims. But, because he's a lawyer, he thinks he knows more than I do about how foster care adoption works.

It drives me nuts and I needed to vent about it before we spend some time with him for the 4th...

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