Friday, September 4, 2015

I Called Him Again

I'd actually managed forget in the months since Lucy's adoption was final. I forgot how much a foster parent has to bug a caseworker to get any answers.

So, I called Tom again. (That's the supervisor of my agency caseworker who is out on medical leave, remember.)

I got his voicemail, so I left a somewhat rambly message. The part that I think got across was when I said that we haven't even told the current children yet that this baby is coming because we just need a few more concrete answers first so we can have that conversation with them without it being full of "I don't know" statements. We don't know when she'll be here. We don't know if she's doing okay. We don't know if she'll be an adoptive placement. We don't know, we don't know, we don't know.

He texted me back that he'd called the county caseworker after he listened to my message, but got her voicemail. He asked me to text him a list of the questions so he could be sure he got them all answered. When I sent him all 8 or so of them -- in one long text -- he responded that it was "perfect!" and said he would email that list to the caseworker as well in case she would respond better to that.

Later, I got only the briefest of updates. CPS is holding off on taking custody until they have a more firmed up discharge date -- so I guess it's not early next week? The other questions were being forwarded to yet another county caseworker who supposedly knows more. Oh, and they were going to see if biomom would sign a release so we could come visit her in the hospital.

We're heading in to a holiday weekend. I'd love to spend this time rearranging furniture and setting up cribs everywhere I think C might sleep. But I don't want to do that and then spend another 3 weeks waiting for her to show up. Or, even worse, do that and have something cause her not to come at all.

I don't think it's likely that she doesn't come at all. Unless...I'm almost afraid to type it. Unless she dies.

I don't think that's likely either, but I've heard no health updates since the very beginning. And no one who talks to me seems to know why the hospital doesn't know when they might be ready for discharge.  Part of me wants that permission to visit so that I can talk to the NICU nurses. Maybe they would tell me something. Even if it's vague. Actually, I expect it to be vague. I don't expect them to tell me that she'll be released on a specific Tuesday and stick to it; I just want to know what improvements she needs to make to be released. Is she breathing okay? Eating? Maintaining her own body temperature? Does she need medication on a regular basis? Does she need to put on more weight? Has she lost weight since birth? Gained? I just don't know.

I also don't thoroughly understand biomom's position. (As I type that, I think: probably biomom doesn't either.) We heard she was planning to surrender, so CPS was going to take custody and we would be given permission to visit. Now, we're hearing they are asking her to give us permission. Does that mean she changed her mind and now plans to work a case plan? Or does it just mean that she can't surrender until they take custody?

So many questions. So much waiting. We're back in fosterland, for sure.


  1. I am all angst inside on your behalf. So turning that angst into prayers...for sweet baby girl and for you. And stalking. I'll be stalking your blog.

    1. Thank you. We can always use prayers! Wish I had more details to post.