Saturday, September 8, 2012

First Visits - Part 2

Part 1 is here.

After some scurrying, we squeezed S's visits in that week. Visit with mom was Friday morning, before her doctor and dentist appointments, which Mom then attended, so Mom got to spend a long time with her. And with me. That's another post for another day.

We got S's visit with Dad scheduled for early Saturday morning, so that we could salvage a portion of the planned family day. Ms F would come get her at 7:15am.

I got a phone call from D's supervisor asking if he could have his visit on Sunday afternoon. He has two hours with Mom, two hours with Dad, at the same location, but with a half hour in between "so that Mom and Dad don't see each other." Wow.

Knowing as I did now that the visits had to be this week, I agreed, although it would mean he'd get back from the visits after bedtime. (I couldn't ask for it to start any earlier without risking his not getting to eat lunch after church. And as it turned out, he walked in the door at bedtime, so it wasn't too late.)

We got up early on Saturday, planning to be ready to head out for our family day as soon as S got back from her visit. Ms F got here on time and buckled her into the carseat. S was excited to see Daddy. Ms F asked me quietly if we were going to be at home; she'd called Dad to confirm and he hadn't answered, so she was afraid he might be a no-show. As I was assuring her that we wouldn't go anywhere, her phone rang. Pleased to recognize the number as his, she answered it. Immediately, she looked less pleased. Her eyes got wide. She turned to me and mouthed, "he's in jail!" Then she started explaining to the woman on the phone that S was right here, but that she couldn't let this woman talk to her. She could have let Dad talk to her, but "you're telling me he's not there, so there really isn't any way I'm giving her the phone." Ms F told S that her daddy wasn't feeling well, so they weren't going to see him today after all.

Side note: I hate lying to children. But I went with the "not feeling well" for a while, because what else could I do? When it turned out that it would be weeks before he was out of jail, I had to change the story..... 

S was confused, but handled the schedule change and the disappointment surprisingly well. We started our family day early.

D's visits went pretty smoothly, comparatively. He came back with a video game (for a system we thankfully do not have) rated T which appears to be about who can beat someone else up faster. At the time, I left it at "we don't have anything you can play that game on." He got here right at bedtime, as it turned out, so we got ready for bed and he went to sleep smoothly.

The next day was court, when we would have the next review of possible family placements.


  1. Sounds like there might have been domestic violence between D's parents. In some places you can look up civil cases online and find out whether there's a protective order out there.

  2. Sorry, just re-read and realized that the "wow" probably had more to do with the fact that D was going to have to have 5.5 hours of the day dominated by visits and spend 4 hours of it in a social services visiting room. Gotcha.